The first six months of being pregnant with Ethan was a breeze – I played tennis three times a week, up until I was about 7 months along. By then, my feet, ankles and legs had begun to swell, making it difficult to be fast on my feet. My monthly OB/GYN checkups were all perfectly normal.

Christmas came and Ethan was already starting to get toys, clothes and books from his grandparents, aunts and uncles. Grandma Joan was working on two quilts: one with removable teddy bears and the other is an "I Spy" type.

Alex and I both turned 30 in January 2001. We had a large party for Alex at our house. After turning 30, I definitely felt the weight of pregnancy – moving around slower, taking naps more often. Around the end of January, I caught a cold. After 3 days of feeling fluid buildup in my lungs, I made an appointment to go see my primary care physician, in case it was turning into bronchitis or something more serious.

Tuesday, February 6, 2001

The doctor couldn't find any evidence of fluid buildup. Of course, I only noticed it after laying down for an hour or so. Dr. Ip did say that my blood pressure was substantially elevated (170/100). As I had an appointment scheduled with my OB/GYN for the next morning, she let me go without a prescription.

I emailed Alex when I got home, telling him that the high blood pressure, combined with my already swollen legs and feet, could be bad for the baby. He called the doctor to ask what we should do.

Dr. Badowski was on call that day. After hearing my blood pressure reading, he said that I should come in immediately to the hospital for an evaluation. So, Alex came home, picked me up and we drove to the hospital.

Once there, our nurse checked my blood pressure every 15 minutes and monitored my urine output for the 24 hour evaluation test. They wanted me to stay the night for observation, as my blood pressure was high and they discovered protein in the urine samples. Blood testing showed that the internal organs were fine.

Finally, around 10:00pm, things settled down and we realized we had not eaten dinner. So, we ordered an Uncle Pete's pizza (Alex's favorite) to be delivered. The nurses were eager to join us in our order.

Alex spent the night in the hospital room with me, in a small recliner chair that pretended to fold out into a bed.

Wednesday, February 7, 2001

The next morning, more blood tests and an ultrasound were performed. Dr. Badowski decided to put me on complete bedrest at home until my next checkup, which we scheduled for the following Monday. We were allowed to complete the 24 hour urine evaluation at home, as long as Alex kept the storage container on ice and delivered it back to the hospital at the end of the 24 hours. We checked out of the hospital around 10:30am.

Once home, we completely rearranged the master bedroom. If I was to be off my feet at all times, I wanted to be able to have access to the outside world! So, Alex set up a table next to the bed with my laptop, a phone and my printer. A television and TV table were brought over by Joan & Frank.

Thursday, February 8, 2001

My mom came over on Thursday to spend the morning with me while Alex got some work done at the office. She had gone shopping for me, bringing new maternity nightgowns, a few books on premature infants and lots of magazines to read!

Later that afternoon, we called the doctors' office to find out the results of the 24 hour urine testing. Around 6pm, we got the call back from Dr. Druzak saying that the results were terrible and that I was to go back into the hospital again.

It was incredibly foggy outside that evening during our drive to the hospital.

Back at the hospital, more blood and urine tests were done and they also scheduled an ultrasound. Dr. Druzak came by to say we were going to induce labor tonight! I was given a shot of steroids in the upper right arm, as this would help develop the baby's lungs for an early arrival.

We were moved to a bigger room. I was attached to an IV, which was to feed magnesium sulfate (for reducing the blood pressure), a catheter and a fetal/contraction monitor. Dr. Druzak came in to add the cervital, which would help soften the cervix for labor. Nurse Cris came in and checked the status of all the hookups every hour and helped keep me comfortable through the night.

Friday, February 9, 2001

I awoke, after not really sleeping much at all the previous night, with a terrible headache in my temples. Alex had spent the night on a slide-out couch, which fortunately was bigger than the one the night before.

At 6:00am the cervital was removed and I was given oxytocin, to stimulate uterine contractions. My headache was ferocious and I was sweating from the effects of all the treatments. Finally, Dr. Badowski OK'd a shot of Demerol for the headache. They also gave me another shot of steroids, to further develop the baby's lungs. My mouth was so dry and I had no voice. I would have done anything for a Slurpy from 7-Eleven! I was only allowed to have ice chips, which Alex continuously fed to me.

Dr. Bob Covert from NICU (NeoNatal Intensive Care Unit) came in to talk to us about premature babies and what we could expect.

At 10:45am, the baby's heart rate dropped and the emergency team organized a caesarian section to be done right away. I was wheeled to the Operating Room, and placed on the operating table. I had to lean forward, arching my back, for the spinal injection. Then I was laid flat on the table. They kept pinching me and poking my belly until I told them I felt no pain. I could still feel pressure, so when they were operating, I could feel the tugging and pulling as they worked on getting the baby out.

I heard a little cry in the background! They had taken Ethan over to an infant table to check him out. They called Alex over to cut the cord, while I was stitched and stapled up. Then, they brought Ethan over for me to see. I kissed him twice on the cheek before they whisked him away to the NICU.

When I was ready to be moved, they wheeled me to a recovery room. It was about 1.5 hours before I could feel my legs again. Joan kept me company during this time, reading from her book "Catering to Nobody" by Diane Mott Davidson.

Alex got to keep his "scrubs" from the operating room. At 1:00pm, while I was recovering, a nurse took Alex, Joan and my mom to see Ethan. Ray & Judy arrived as well, and they were also shown Ethan. Lots of digital cameras went into action!

Saturday, February 10, 2001

I woke up around 3:30am, unable to sleep any more. I had slept on my back for the first time since becoming pregnant and slept pretty well, considering I still had all the plugins: the catheter, the IV, the blood pressure cuff and a few new hookups: a pulse monitor on my left index finger which had a bright red light at the tip, and also an EKG monitor taped to my back.

Alex had coaxed the nurses last night to give him a larger cot to sleep on, so he was still asleep. My sutures ached, but all I could think of was little Ethan. How was he? What would he be like when we brought him home with us?

Alex got up around 5:30am. He went to see Ethan and got to hold him for the first time. Then, he had to go work to move furniture into his company's new office space. Joan arrived when Alex left, and we talked and again, she read to me from the "Catering to Nobody" book. I was grateful for the company and was unable to read by myself, thanks to the effects of the drugs I was on. The magnesium sulfate , which lowers the blood pressure, also causes the inability to focus the eyes. The painkiller I was given was Vicatin, a narcotic, and I was feeling pretty spaced out.

The nurses didn't want me to watch television or be in bright lights for at least 24 hours, as there was a risk of having a seizure. I definitely felt "high" - the wallpaper patterns seemed to have a life of their own!

Alex got back from the move around 2:00pm. Before then, most of my tubes & monitors had been removed by the nurse. I was cleaned up and had gone through a lesson on how to use the breast pump. They were ready to move me to the final Mother & Baby Suite, which turned out to be a bright and cheery room. Lots of flowers had already been delivered and the room smelled like a garden!

Once we settled in for a bit, Alex wheeled me down the halls in a wheel chair to see Ethan in the NICU. Joan joined us to take pictures. We have to scrub up before entering. Ethan had been moved to an Isolette in the corner, as they say that restricting light and noise is beneficial to his growth. The RN bundled him up and I was finally able to hold him for the first time.

Nothing can prepare you for the feeling of holding your baby for the first time. I felt tears of happiness, fear and helplessness all at the same time. All the tubes and wires covering his body were overwhelming to see. One of his arms was completely strapped to a board to support his IV tube.

Then, he opened his eyes and looked at me. He seemed so alert, just checking things out. He really likes to have his head stroked, and he definitely recognizes Alex's voice and seems to be soothed by it. His hair is so soft and he has such tiny but perfectly formed fingers. Absolutely amazing!

We give him back to the RN, who puts him back in his Isolette. They're going to be feeding him the 2 cc of milk that I've pumped for him. This is a trial to see how he'll handle the feedings, as the magnesium sulfate that I was on prior to delivery inhibits his ability to feed on his own. We'll know more tomorrow how this goes.

We had a bunch of visitors today: Erich & Julie, Blanca Amancio and Kellie King, my mom. Alex gave everyone a tour to Ethan's area.

Alex is going home to sleep tonight. I stay awake watching the "Newborn Network", watching all the perfect sized babies and wishing that Ethan will be like them soon.

Sunday, February 11, 2001

Today, I decide to spend the morning documenting all the past days' activities. There are already lots of gaps in my memory of all the events, so I write down as much as I remember and wait for Alex to help with the editing.

Alex calls me from home, to let me know he's printing pictures of Ethan on our color printer. He was also looking around the house for things to put in Ethan's isolette: pictures of us and some colorful toys. When Alex arrives at the hospital, he shows me everything he brought for Ethan and has a few things for me, too! A 7-Eleven cherry slurpy and some Chicken McNuggetts. The hospital lunch food was horrible today. Alex is my hero!

Sherri arrives, as do Ray and Judy, for a visit. We have a 3:30pm time slot to go see Ethan for his feeding and to do "Kangaroo Care". The kangaroo care is skin-to-skin contact with the baby. Alex and I head down to NICU and we get to tuck Ethan down my nightgown to snuggle for about 10-15 minutes. He was so content to lay there. It was so cute! We called Ray down to the NICU to take pictures.

When our time was over, they put him back in his isolette. He now has a mild case of jaundice, so they have the blue "billi lights" on over his unit. This is extremely common in preemies, they assure us, and he'll be just fine when the treatments are over. They have protective eye shields on him to keep him from staring at the light. It looks like he's in a tanning booth.

We go back to my room and visit with Ray, Judy and Sherri for a while, making plans for the week and figuring out how we're going to move all the flowers and gifts home!

Alex and I go back to see Ethan again around 7:30pm. Now, it's Alex's turn to kangaroo. He tucked into Alex's shirt and lay against his chest. Ethan was squirmy and we felt a little panicky about wires coming undone. Ethan was wide awake and looking around. The RN showed us how to make sure his neck didn't get too extended.

He's been receiving my breast milk every 6 hours and it has been processing through his system! He's also receiving an IV. When we put Ethan back in his isolette, the RN showed us how to change his diaper. He had pooped, so we saw how we needed to clean him up. Then, he pooped again! I never thought I'd think poop was cute!

The NICU was getting really busy and noisy, so after finishing up with Ethan's diaper, we settled him back in with his eye shields and turned the billi lights back on.

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